I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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