Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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