U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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