She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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