Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
