We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
