so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
