Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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