i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
