It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
