He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
