i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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