He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
