I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
