The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
