I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
