I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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