I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
