You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
