Ambien. No doubt about it.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
