This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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