I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
