My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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