All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
