Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
