windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize