Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
