Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
