like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
