I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
