On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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