your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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