I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
