The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
