either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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