sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
