so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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