whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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