guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
