...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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