Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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