i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
