i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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