so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
