And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
ok first of all what the fuck
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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