Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
