Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
