Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
