Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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