I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
